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    December 14

    无胆匪类

    最近喝PEPSI上瘾了,喝的肚子涨涨的...好难受...想起了在中国的时候,增男老说他代言PEPSI,更有些难受了...
    龙兄她们都回家了,其实我也挺想回的...毕竟,来美国...我并不是很愿意的...而且,在这里,我也不开心...
    我就是一个无胆匪类,有胆量和自己的家人吵闹叫嚣自己不想来美国,却没有胆量真的不来这里...
    我当时真的很害怕,害怕自己过来后的生活,害怕她的离开,害怕自己变的不是自己了...
    小的时候,也不知道自己为什么那么胆大,可以在上课的时候,悄悄牵起同桌的手,对她说,我喜欢你...可以在被6个人围劫的时候,拿起砖块和他们扭打...小时侯真的没什么好怕的...我身后有太多太多的人在帮助我...如今呢?我和自己背靠背,匍匐前进...
    要是我当初真的狠下心不过来,现在的我,应该也是和现在一样,在后悔吧...无论我选择什么路,总是会后悔的...后悔也要走的...我毕竟还活着...
    无胆匪类,无胆匪类...
    习惯了逃避...习惯了无所谓...习惯了堕落...我真的一无是处呢...
    还有,习惯了陈妤其的陌生和不认识的神情,太多次了,也就不再伤心了...
    我是不是为了想恋爱而恋爱的呢?难道我真的只是单纯的怕孤单么?
    自己总是认为,自己的每次退出,都是因为别人的原因...为了最好的兄弟,我可以放弃那个我们都很爱的女孩...当感情出现危机的时候,稍做努力然后就放弃,把自己的放手当作对双方都好的事情...其实呢?自己只是在怕失去更多而已...宁愿失去一些,也不愿失去全部...即使有99%成功的机会...我也会放弃...毕竟还有1%可能失败的...我真的很胆小...
    自己真的蛮累的...总在寻找可以让自己失去最少的路在走...这也是不容易的呢...
    不过,现在也该是时间拼下了...
    希望自己有时间可以完成一些理想...
    5:34 PM | Blog it | 生活

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